I think I mentioned how much I like mornings. Not lately, though. It’s been quite difficult to get my mornings these days as the first thought I get is about what I haven’t finished yesterday. 

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But today, my other profession arrives. Again. From time to time, I lose myself in being a clown. I juggle between activities and even between my books this morning. I read a few chapters from one, then switch to the other, and then go back to the first one. At the same time, I look for places to visit and write ideas in my diary and quotes from the books I am reading. Then I stop and wonder, why can’t I finish anything? 

But how can I satisfy my mind in the morning? It wants to juggle, let it juggle. We don’t always have to be productive, sometimes it’s about the satisfaction of not finishing anything! I would be a champion of that. I am a senior in this activity. I read in Rick’s book this morning the following: “So if your passion changes course, follow it. Your trust in your instinct and excitement are what resonate with others.” 

Shoot. My excitement, where has it gone? I am looking daily for it, but it’s only today, it’s only during the slow mornings I can find it. I get to be myself, fully. The chaotic, disorganized me. In my pajamas, sitting on my yoga mat in a cross-legged seat, and writing. My messy hair, my unwashed face. I didn’t have time, I started reading immediately and then an idea arrived. I need to use this time because ideas are very fragile. If it comes, you need to catch it. Otherwise, it’s gone forever. I thought so many times, and still make this mistake of not capturing it when it arrives. I will remember it, for sure. I couldn’t forget this, it’s such a good idea. And I lose.

That’s why I juggle this morning. It doesn’t matter that you have a plan, you need to adapt, because it arrived. I want to be this excited and this peaceful every morning. Why can’t it be? Why can’t I make it happen? I guess I would be living in the clouds. I would become an Alice in Wonderland. I would wonder all the time. Sometimes, you need to be realistic, especially now that I am an adult.